Time flows. The flow is not always the same. Some times are more special than others. Sometimes the time just stops. It seems to stop because the mind is not able to deal with all the input at once. The moments might be too special to deal with them in the second they happen. So the mind puts all the moments in one box and writes a date on it. 030415060415. For example. The mind makes us believe that times stops. But it is a lie. Time runs. Time flows away, ruins through one’s soul and leaves it empty. There is not a way to stop it. The thief of time knows no grace.

The worst thieves are desire and love. They take it all. And they never pay back.

But the thief of time can’t take the box of moments. The moments are kept in a safe place in the past. But time will take pieces of them as well. One by one until nothing is left. This is what makes the moments special as well, that there is nothing left in the end.

there are these times there we find ourselves alone with our thougths. It might take some time until the thoughts develop the idea that they are able to take over. Once they had this nice idea there is nothing left than just to surrender. And to wait. Until the storm ends.

Alone with the thoughts which come from a depth there it is dark and cold. Of course there is light as well. In between.

Nobody should be left alone with his thoughts. Loneliness is the trigger. It shows us what we are. No. It shows us what we are not. It shows that one is not able to control the situation in a way that does not end up in loneliness. And this is the start of all thoughts: Not being able to. If I could I would.

But I can’t.

The day before it happend. 4 years ago. A revolution, a resignation, an election… a new president.

Then. A conter-revolution (some might call it a military coup), a forced replacement of an elected president, a new non-elected president without parliment. (some might call it a dictatorship). And now…?

Now it seems that we are at the very start of everything. All that was won is lost again. Whoever is against the new president is close to prison. Whoever has a different opinion will need a good lawyer. There is no middle. One can be against or with, but not in between. Almost every discussion ends up in a fight.

But. This is not only possible in Egypt. I just need to look in me. While looking I start to think about what is going on in Germany, about what is going on in Dresden and Leipzig. And I can feel what the people here will feel if they think about their enemy.

If the gap between different ideas it too big there seems to be a human factor we should get rid of. Let the machines rule!

The Devil and me

Am i strong because I am not afraid of this creature called “devil” and his favorite place called “hell”? Am I a hero because I don’t care about this idea of ending up in this place?

No. Unfortunately I am not. Nor Hero, nor especially strong nor a believer. I don’t believe in the light and not in the darkness. I believe in humanity and the idea that we are what we became, as an individual and as a social group.

But people I care of are scared by the idea of hell. An idea only created to convince people to follow certain rules written by humans. Otherwise! … (yes… I am aware of the idea that these rules were sent by god. We will talk about this later.)

God is almighty. The Divine Entity (DE) has the power to create day and night. The DE created everything around us. The DE has the unique power to control everything around us. The DE is by definion almighty… but… there is this evil counterpart, another player in the game: the devil. The devil (Undevine Entity – UE) does not need to abide to the rules of god. The UE can somehow do what it wants, UE’s fingers are in the middle of everything that goes wrong on this planet. Would this ablilty make the UE not more important and stronger than the DE?

And then we die. Unfortunately. I would go straight to hell. As I do not abide to the rules nor do I believe. But maybe I am the lucky guy because this complete idea of hell seems to be completely based on humand ideas of law and punishment: If you do this wrong you will get punished! So – better follow Dad’s rules!

Why should the DE ever follow human ideas of law and order? This idea that whoever does something wrong (the evaluation of wrongdoing itself is a real problem because cultures are different) gets punished. (The by religion suggested punishments are also purely human). Why should the DE refer to human ways of communication like books? Ideas and thoughts can be shared without books.

If there is a DE it would surely implant the idea of good and bad within the human itself – as a basic equipment. This basic equipment is adjustable to time and environment. Everyone fulfills her/his being along her/his given needs and wants. This is the task. Can’t be a different one. We need to hurt, we need to love, we need to commit crimes, we need to disrespect rules which are not ours. Everyone out there needs to be what she/he is, what she/he is going to become. This can be the only possible assignment because it is in us.  Needs to be there. Implanted by the DE from the very beginning on.

If there is a DE then humans are what they are. Each individual with its special needs and wants. Nothing our there can be against nature as it would be against the DE itself. If there would be really something which is “against nature” – would this not make the DE less powerful as it is the One who controls everything?

Hypocrites

My personal favorite kind of human beings. These folks pretend to act according to whatever rules while doing exactly the opposite. These folks are the root of all fuckin evil on this planet because they do not allow themselves to respect themselves as what they are. So they need to compensate their real being with hatred against others of the same kind. I can’t even be sorry for you!

filled. up to the neverend. lost. in between. thoughts. circling around the only wish possible. the only wish left. thoughts feeding themselves with the desires they trigger. the trigger is the thought and the thought is the trigger. moving around the ONE need and want. no space left for anything else. nothing. nothing left of me. nothing left without ONE.

a wish that grows along the borders which makes it unfulfillable. desires growing along the depth of the fall. needs growing along the pain they cause. torn apart between the nothing and the everything.

a mind knows… but the mind does not control. the mind knows how all needs to end, knows how all will end. the mind is not in control. never was. never will be. it is a dream that haunts me. a dream. nothing less.

So here we are. We bring our life along with us, the life we had so far. We shared this life with others and we made decisions which make some people we met more important for us than others. We also made decisions which had a certain impact onto others life. And other people made decisions which have an impact on our life.

There were moments then everything seemed almost fine and things developed into an overall scenario there it seemed that the time stood still. Decisions were made and nothing left to change. Moments passed. Good ones and bad ones. Shared experience connects.

And then something happens to the universe. There is an impact. A strong one. All knowledge changes at once. All that we thought we would know is from one moment to the other on edge. Sharply on edge. Nothing is as it was. Nothing is left from what we thought is sure. Even we are not anymore what we thought we are. Nothing left.

In between we are. Finding oneself torn apart between old and new, between one world and the other. Rules are not longer valid for us. But valid for everyone who did not feel the impact. Valid for everyone whoms universe is not on edge. A different kind of understanding grows, knowledge that can’t be shared, experience that can’t be told. Alone. Almost.

The impact. Two universes. An outburst of high energy. A singularity of cosmic meaning is created. A new universe grows out of this singularity, exloding into the vacuum the older universe had left, filling the vacuum, changing time and meaning, changing everything.

The astronaut is struggeling. He used to be at home in one universe. But then the singularity changed time and space, changed the astronaut himself, changed how the astronaut looks into the world, how he perceives reality. The astronaut is not alone. Others are affected by the impact. One. You.

The majority is not affected. Nobody can ever see. Can ever know. Can ever share. This experience must be made alone, only shared with one. The new experience is magic, is huge, is all, is what must be shared. But can’t. The new universe needs to be kept hidden. Carefully kept as a secret that shouldn’t be one.

.

One does not need to believe into certain things. One does not need to believe in monsters and demons and still these monsters and demons will sneak in at night and pinch their needles into every humans mind and soul.

These monsters and demons get their energy out of emotions. They feed on them. And they feed them. These monsters and demons are always hungry and still have always enought to feed. And again, even if we do not believe in them, even if we think they are magic creatures, unreal, they will still be able to hunt us down.

Haunted places are everywhere. No need to be special. No way to be prepared. No safety, nowhere. No place to hide. Not from them. They will find us. They will find us as we are human. To avoid them we need to become a monster. Or a demon.

Possessed.

We are.

Strange as it is: The planet is bold enough to keep on revolving whatever happens on its surface. And if this fuckin planet would have any kind of courtesy or respect for the people who live on its surface it would sometimes just stop for a second. Or two. Some moments are way too dramatic to just do business as usual, Planet.

And Universe! Don’t think that I forgot you.