nikiloadian BLOG

A freakin´ virus hunts man king. Nobody seems to feel safe anymore. This feeling of insecurity, the threat of death and suffering, sucks. I get that. I feel the same.

In order to make things easier on us we are looking for hope. A constellation of the stars, a special kind of medication, a way of breathing, whatever might be out there as an idea has the chance to give us hope. Wrong hope. One bubble after the other will burst. Hope makes us feel warm and cozy while it is not, it is cold and dark. Hope is a lie.

Hope sucks. Not knowing sucks more though.

We all hope and cannot not to. We all lie to ourselves that everything might be fine and we tend to use all kind of magic to make us feel better. And in time everything even works out pretty well. We might say most of the time things work out in our favor. Sometimes things go terribly south and we receive the punch of fate. And this is what it is: a punch of fate! In times things suck. And instead of making as a cozy home and fantasy island we should just realize our place on this planet, in this universe!

Hope fills a gap between the realization of a threat or a desire and the moment things become true or do not become true.

We blame the ones who believe in aliens, brain-chips and mind control, in child eating politicians and code words like “pizza”. We blame them for believing in stuff that cannot be true. And many of the once who blame these people go to church every Sunday – praying to a divine being that controls the universe.

There is always hope if we cannot deal with reality.

I will go looking for my unicorn.

…or is it me?

In times it is so hard to even get the tiniest piece of an idea why some people do what they are doing. Their actions seem so stupid and without reason or even worse – against everything we believe in..

Probably they think the same of us.

Humans decide based on emotions. We like and dislike things based on who we became and who we are still becoming. So here we are as the one we are and we need to be. So we act. And as we don´t like to act alone we find people who just feel the same as we do. And everyone tells everyone that they are so right! Welcome to the bubble!

What is wrong and what the fuck is right?

We might ask the people right around us to answer the question. Probably we like the answer and we will feel better to know that we feel the right thing and do the right stuff! Maybe there is the chance to ask someone a bit far from the people usually around us. The answer we will then hear will make as sad or angry or crazy. But it is just another reality for someone we share the planet with.

Still! What the heck?

There are these ideas I personally do not want to share the planet with! At all! Actually there are many of these ideas around. There are people who act and think along roads i would not even put a step on.

So many ideas out there I do not agree with and I do not even WANT to understand. And probably this is the rule for everyone out there. So many believe systems with their very own line of argumentation – within each system the line or argumentation makes sense. (Kind of).

So. How to deal with that.

Behind every fuckin´idea is a human being who thinks this idea and acts upon it. Maybe we start from there. If people feel under pressure it is more likely that they are not able to have a space in their mind to cross-check their emotional reality. Angry people act angry, scared people act in whatever way. So if we start with the human being behind every fuckin´idea we best start with ourselves. Why are we believing, thinking and doing what we are doing? We analyze ourselves and the reasons why we are NOT okay with an idea. After doing so we throw all arguments which are based on dogmatic believe systems (the man on the moon said so!) and pure cultural ideas (my society does so…) into the hazardous stuff container for further analyzation later on. Everything left behind could at least be used as arguments in any upcoming discussion. Once we filtered everything the man in the moon said as well as some cultural amazement there might not be much left though, – but the idea that all humans have the same rights and feeling and desires as we have. This as the core of everything and the basic rule of everything we would at least be able to deal with each other.

This is only valid for the ones who can actually control their actions and think before they act. This would be the end of the rule of man kind. No harm done here.

So here we are as human beings: We see faces in the clouds and we see monsters in dancing shades thrown by the candle (okay, maybe the monsters are real…). We tend to see things which are not there. This is the Ninja way of becoming human: recognize the tiger in the woods before it recognizes you. Pattern seeking seemed helpful back then in a simple world.

Now it is 2020. The world is way less simple. Perceived threats all around us: people, traffic, animals, sounds, buildings, ideas, words etc. At the same time we need to make sense of everything happening around us. We need to feel that we are in control. Unfortunately we are not. There is no reason out there. Things just happen. No big plan of dark forces needed.

I hear your argument, dear believer. Still i do not agree with the idea that i am a sleeping sheep that is led to the slaughter. I believe that i am the one who is able to deal with reality and you are not. Reality sucks, we both agree on that. It sucks even more that we can not blame anyone for all the fuck-ups happening around us. Bullshit happens for no reason. That´s one of the basic principles of bullshit.

Be strong. Accept your role in the universe. Guide other people into the light. Ignore the dancing monsters.

Nobody can predict the future.

This is also the rule for the past.

We can´t know what´s next. We did not know what will come. We will never know.

Things just happen without a why and when. Magic is a possible way to deal with that. The better way is, just to realize it: Shit happens. For no reason. All the time.

All is off.

Cities and streets and shops and restaurants all shut down until further notice. All the things i would have done in normal times i can´t do now. So i have so freakin´lot of time to finally get some things done! I was waiting for that since i was 6 years old.

But Corona bitch shows off in so many different ways.

It is probably not the end of mankind and it is not the first time that something like that happens. And at least we would have something to tell once we approach the final destination.

But for fucks sake Corona spooks the heck out of me! It is all around me! The first ten articles in ANY news outlet, people with masks on the street, no people in the streets at all, reduced attendance at work. Something big must be going on! All the time I could use to get amazing stuff done goes into thinking how all this will end.

As if all this thinking would change anything at any time!

It comes as it comes. Anyway and always. So for now staying healthy and keeping other people healthy is the only thing necessary to think about. Everything else is to big for a small human brain. So i can use the capacity of my mind to get things done.

Once i convinced myself of the things i am saying here.

Good luck.

Be aware! The world is a lie! Whatever you are told is just meant to support the hidden kings of this planet! I tell you!

The world is still ruled by believes. What in former time was religion is now Brexit and Trump and all the other happy future fantasies. These believes have a short life but it does not matter as long as the believers get their short glance of heaven. For a short time. Before it turns into a nightmare. And as back then some people who use their mind control a lot of people who do not do so. The trick is to tell everyone not to believe anything but the words of the one in charge. Heard anywhere before? Christianity says hi.

Reality is what many people believe in based on our senses. As humans are not able to see through walls and over a distance we need help to know what is going on. We have scientists and journalists to do so. Their job is to tell the truth as true as is is possible to tell. Most of them do their job. And without them we would have no longer a shared reality to live in. Just think about it: Money, Society, Religion – All ideas which work because people believe in them.

Without trusting in some reality we are lost in nonsense. We have professional people to help us with this reality. Everyone out there has an own mind and different sources of information and in the end it is knowledge that makes the difference. And this gives you also a great tool not to be controlled by other interests: Pop the bubble! Open your eyes! Look around you! It helps!

Did anyone ever see them? No? So you can’t prove that they are not real! And i can see the rainbow! So no rainbow without unicorns! No? See! Unicorns are true.

The magic of negative argumentation: because you can’t see it it has to be true! The thing about science it that it works in a different way: What you can see is there. But….hello? Did anyone ever see love or an electron? For the love, yes, we can actually see it, but we can as well measure it in different ways. For the electron, yes, we can measure it an build some formulas based on what was measured and use this formulas to explain other things and to use it to explain what is going on in our universe.

Nothing of that can be said for unicorns. Unfortunately.

And hell yes, science changes, knowledge changes, it evolves! Science allows that! Science needs to evolve and to be discussed to make it strong. And the magic is: Science works! Airplanes fly, surgeries are done, buildings are built, food for billions is grown. Unicorns didn’t help much there though.

Science describes reality. Unicorns need believers. Science can then analyse the impact of believes on society and cultures and even individuals. Over time we might even understand why some humans start wars for their believe that unicorns have a golden or a purple horn. Anyway, the believe in unicorns, a football team or a nation, all these are just ideas in our heads which unite people against other people.

we are to old for that shit,

In times we are not what we hoped or wished to be. In times we do things we were sure would never do and would only happen to others. But then we find us doing these things because we can´t act otherwise. Something in us acts against all the rules and all the ideals around us.

We feel that we are about to disappoint others, that we are going to hurt others. We feel bad and guilty and still can´t act any other way.

This is the source of all hypocrisy and self destruction in our world today.

We need to acknowledge that we are at no moment as good as we want to be. Nobody is perfect and humans a very far from being perfect. People around us need to accept these wrongdoings as they would accepts an accident or a thunderstorm. It is not nice and it should not have happened in an ideal world, but we are in this world, which is far from being ideal.

If bullshit strikes or if we experience a new self it is the responsibility of the acting person to act as sensitive and careful as possible respecting other peoples emotions, desires, wishes and needs. At the same time we need to be honest to ourselves and not to blame others for the things we are going to do or we already did.

Whatever we do not only affects us. Everyone around us will need to deal with the consequences of what we did. Here it becomes tricky. Nobody should hurt others on purpose at any given moment for any given reason.

So what if we start with us with not seeing other people actions as a deliberate act to hurt us but as a force of nature as this is what it is? Is it not our responsibility to prepare for these forces of nature by shielding us against all coming with understanding and knowledge and love and care? What if we perceive the world as a big miracle where everything is possible and nobody is to blame for it. Some actions are sad or painful or disappointing or all of it. Just that nobody is to blame for that, it just went down that road and life will go on. (For the time being)

We can have ideals and we can believe in ideals – as long as reality does not trigger the need to act against them. Only a few have the chance not to betray these ideals. The chance to stick to ideals is not a reason to blame others who did not have the chance. Nothing ever happend or happening to us was under our control, not to the good nor to the bad.